Solemnly Remembering Paradise

My friend David in Northern California posted this most timely and saddening blog post today. Thank you, David. Puts into perspective the fact that I stopped up the garbage disposal (again) with vegetable peelings 🙄. May the healing of body, heart and mind, and of our precious Mother Nature begin in every needed way.

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Ashes of Paradise (taken at noon Thursday) ~d nelson

Remembering that time when
my journey landed me upon
a special high forested mountainside,
inhabited, mostly, with friendly older folks,
who called the place Paradise.
Perhaps you can remember
such a pleasant place, yourself.

Ashes of Paradise 2 (taken at noon on Thursday)

Hadn’t thought about Paradise
for such a long time
until the other day when darkness
suddenly descended at noon
and its ashes rained down on my valley.
A local witness said it was like the gates of hell opened up.

Ashes of Paradise 5 ~usda

Breathing in (with a carbon filtered mask), I taste smoke, again.
Breathing out, clean carbon dioxide.
Sadly reflecting on those lost, newly homeless,
continued windy, bone-dry conditions,
realizing another catastrophic California inferno.
Details are easily found on current news & here.  (my local air quality below)

Ashes of Paradise 6 ~epa

As…

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Animals and Difficult Choices

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Wow! The circus animals depicted on the Animal Crackers box have been freed into their African habitat. How wonderful! I may have resumed eating some beef and chicken for reasons I will explain, but my love and concern for all beings remain very strong.

For about 10 years I have been a fervent, even strident, vegetarian, a large part of that time as a vegan. I eschewed silk, leather and honey. And then my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and it turned our world up side down. And the Universe brought a number of people and articles into our awareness about a radical new treatment for AD. It’s called the ReCODE Protocol devised by UCLA neurologist Dale Bredesen, MD. We scoffed at first, but I did some research and also asked a clinician who treats AD if it was snake oil or just plain bullshit. She assured me it was legit, adding that a member of the medical staff had presented on it and said it was the real deal. The initial study included only 10 subjects but nine showed significant reversal of their cognitive decline after following the protocol. Dr. Bredesen has proposed a larger study and is awaiting approval by the UCLA institutional review board.

The ReCODE Protocol consists, in a nutshell, of a gluten-free diet that induces mild ketosis, fasting, and individually tailored supplements following extensive blood work and genetic testing, and medication. So I began preparing three meals a day for him following the protocol, and we had to find sources of grass fed beef and pastured chicken and eggs, and wild caught fish (except large fish such as tuna, shark, swordfish because of the mercury in their tissues). This ketogenic way of eating is important to reducing the environment in the body conducive to AD symptoms.

We found grass-fed ground beef at our local supermarket and I made a meatloaf. Pinterest has great ketogenic recipes and I found a winner. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed beef until this meatloaf was cooking. It was delicious. Then we went to a farm here in northeast Pennsylvania that sells grass-fed and grass-finished beef (some grassfed cattle are sent to standard feedlots to be fattened before slaughter) and bought a chuck roast and a brisket. When the chuck roast was cooking, the aroma was amazing, and it was fork tender and very tasty. I asked the farmer how they were raised and slaughtered, and he assured me both were humane. “They’re my babies,” he said. “I take them there myself. It’s done humanely. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A local heath food store sells organic pastured chicken and organic, unpastured and uncured chicken sausages. I began making jerk chicken in the crockpot, another winner. I still eat vegetarian sausages because I like them. I serve his and mine with sauerkraut. Fermented foods are strongly encouraged, and I make mashed cauliflower with pastured butter and organic miso which make it creamy and tasty, and miso is fermented. We also make zucchini noodles and cauliflower rice. I steam a head of organic cauliflower at least once a week, and I also make cauliflower home fries to serve him with his morning eggs. It’s a high fat diet, and we use avocados and olive oil dressings, and I cook with lots of avocado oil, coconut oil, and pastured ghee and butter. I prepare salmon patties using wild caught canned salmon mixed with Old Bay seasoning, chopped onion and green pepper, plus one egg, which makes four patties that he loves. One with veggies is usually enough, but sometimes he has two.

We found a doctor who was trained by Dr. Bredesen to treat my guy and she is helping us refine his plan according to the testing. He has lost a lot of weight, so she added brown rice, millet and quinoa to his diet. He is to eat a whole avocado daily. I was eventually too busy and stressed to keep preparing for two very divergent food plans, so I began eating meat again and maybe I was weak, but I’m at peace with it. I also have lost about 12 pounds after adding beef and chicken. Doing so has sped up my weight loss and moved me to within about 10 pounds of my goal.

So I’m so happy Nabisco changed the Animal Crackers box to reflect the reality that the circus has closed and the animals have been released to humane sanctuaries. I have gratitude for the animals who end up on our plates. I hope those who remain vegetarian and vegan will understand my decision to leave the fold. If not, be glad you don’t have to make the kinds of changes we have made in our lives to accommodate and hopefully reverse the cognitive decline of AD. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. The future is uncertain for all of us. But for us it is scary.

Namasté

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Sad News About Missing Man

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Some time ago, I reposted my friend Xenia Tran’s blog post about a man from Scotland who went missing after a bachelors party in Hamburg, Germany. Here’s a link to today’s post, and it contains a link to her original post.

Haibun: Missing in Hamburg

Life brings us all heartaches and bad news. We’ve had both in our lives of late. We got a devastating diagnosis with no hope for a cure, and my dear uncle’s wife has died. We can’t go to the funeral because of our own health drama currently unfolding, but we sent cards and expressed our love and condolences. Despite this sadness and concern we feel for ourselves and our immediate and extended family, we are able to feel deeply for others, and doing so is very important and even healing for us.

Our hearts go out to Liam’s family and his friends.

With much love,

and gratitude for our many blessings,

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Meditating to the Rhythms of the Palms and Opening Our Hearts to those in Need

Every day I sit to meditate, except on those days when I have too much pain or fatigue to do anything but lie down. The practice has brought me great peace, calm and even moments of joy. I highly recommend it. I love to meditate to silence, but this is not always possible, so I find nature sounds or subtle music that doesn’t distract to accompany my sessions.

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Maui Beach

Recently I discovered an album on Amazon Music called Hawaiian Spa and I really enjoy the sounds.

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I haven’t been able to locate a YouTube of any of it online, so I’ll share this Amazon Prime link where you can hear it, or order it for yourself.

And if you can’t access Prime, you can also listen to this instead, with lovely music and calming Hawaiian scenes to enjoy as you relax.

Ahhh.

 

Now, if your stress has melted away and you feel pretty good, here’s a way you can help someone else feel good, too! My dear cousin Paula’s son Brian and daughter-in-law Amber lived in Gatlinburg, Tennessee until a couple of days ago when the massive wildfires there totally destroyed their house. They need so much help, escaping with little more than the clothes on their back and their three kitties. If you can help even a little, here is the link to their GoFundMe page.

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Brian York and Amber Hosea

I and my family thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the generosity of all who pitch in to help Brian and Amber.

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* Steps to Find your Middle Ground

This wonderful, wise and compassionate list resonated with me. So many lists of do’s and don’t’s seem daunting or even shaming. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with suggestions. This one is amazing! I printed a copy to put up, and I want my own followers to see it as well. I was working with someone recently who is suffering from a painful loss and realized this list might be just the thing to share. See what you think…

Find Your Middle Ground

find your middle ground

This list is for all the list people out there. Enjoy the steps I have discovered in finding my own middle ground and living life in balance đź’›

  • Notice! Take time to pause and be aware of the incredible gift of life that you share with others and with nature. Wake up to the little things. Wake up to  your self. Wake up to it all. This is called living mindfully. Become a keen observer.
  • Accept that life has ups and downs. Really! Some one told us when were little that life should be a breeze. This is called wishful thinking. Be grateful for the highs and graceful in the lows. This is called living life well.
  • Become present. Stop lamenting the past or worrying about tomorrow.  Living is in each moment. Now. Take a deep breath.  Then an other.  Notice you are still here… not there.
  • Get to know…

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“A Bandaid for my heart”

My friend and colleague and gifted writer Na’ama Yehuda blogged this sweet interaction with a young client. It touched heart and may well touch yours.

Na'ama Yehuda

She asked me if I knew about dying.

I said I knew it hurt when someone we love died.

She nodded and fiddled with the pencil, poked the tip against her finger, poked again. Again.

I wondered if she was trying to make the hurting take a form she understood through the pinprick of a just-sharpened pencil. I gently put my hand on hers.

She looked up at me, thankfully without embarrassment or worry of judgment. Feelings weren’t easy for this child, whose very early years were filled with much that couldn’t be expressed and had no wording. Her grandfather passed away right before her birth and a hue of grief lingered many months, adding to her mother’s post-partum depression. Her mother has recovered since, and the home was generally caring, but unspoken early patterns of if-you-are-quiet-you-won’t-overwhelm-mom and waiting for another’s space to open so you can have your needs met still played out often. The girl, not yet ten, was more likely to…

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Tears and Till Kingdom Come

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Yesterday was a day of pain and tears. Pain from inflammation in two nerves in my lower back. Pain from seeing the sadness and grief of a family all too accustomed to grief and loss burying their son, brother, father, husband, and uncle well before his three score and ten. He was 46. I began to weep seeing his stoic father, Vice-President Joe Biden walking towards the church behind the hearse with arms around his granddaughter.

image Seeing the family in their grief broke my heart. Most of my readers must know the story of young Joe losing his wife and infant daughter and nearly losing his two sons ages two and three in a car accident when he was just 30 years old. To bury the oldest of his sons has to be one of the most painful experiences anyone can undergo. My physical pain paled, and yet I found it hard to bear, unable to find even a halfway comfortable position.

 

Chris Martin of the group Coldplay, having learned that Beau Biden had liked their music, gave an acoustic rendition of “Til Kngdom Come” that reached into our hearts.

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Here is a video of Coldplay performing “Till Kingdom Come,” with the lyrics, which I found to be stirring, apt and entirely appropriate for this solemn occasion. I heard several reporters say they wept as they listened.

This music is evocative and poignant, the words ambiguous enough to fit any number of painful situations. Another in this genre that is very frank is “O Death” by Ralph Stanley whose haunting a capella performance I featured on this blog in the past.

My back pain is somewhat better today, as I hoped it would be. The Biden family’s pain is in its infancy, to be felt and honored and processed this whole next year, as Father’s Day, birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas come without Beau. Eventually next year at this time the corner will be turned, only a little, but turned, and life will begin to open its doors of beauty and joy to the grieving again. Whatever we may believe about an afterlife, it does get better. And yet, we never forget our ancestors and other loved ones who have gone on before us. How can we?

I will end this post with some words of Metta:

May all beings be free from suffering,

May all beings be at ease,

May all beings be happy,

May all beings have peace.

 

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