Your Diversion: Permission

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Graphic from Pinterest, attributed To Brene Brown

Permit, consent, allow, let, give

  • Permit ourselves, permit others.
  • Consent to something, consent to someone.
  • Allow yourself, allow another, allow for something.
  • Let yourself, let someone, let something.
  • Give permission, give consent, give allowance. 

This week there’s much from which we might wish to divert ourselves. Rather than remind us all of what is wrong in the world today, let’s look at some good things, even in surprising places.

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And Still She Persisted, mixed media by Jill Jacobs

First, here’s a story of courage.

An 18 year old woman was riding around one night in a car in Brooklyn with two male friends. They were pulled over by NYPD officers in an unmarked van. There was pot in the car. The guys were let go but the girl was detained in the van. They never arrested her nor did they document the stop in any way. She has accused the officers of taking turns raping her in the van and then dropping her by the side of a deserted road.

The case is dragging slowly through the courts. She was deposed for 12 hours over a three-day period by lawyers for the City. Her courage is monumental, because despite all her social media posts since middle school and sex life being examined in the utmost detail for some evidence to discredit her, still she has persisted. The kicker? Her mother took her to an ER and lo and behold, DNA of both cops was found on her person. Dead to rights, right? No! In New York State it is not illegal for police to have sex with persons in their custody! Nor is it illegal in more than half the states in the US. The whole case is boiling down to consent. The two cops, both no longer with the force, claim the sex they took turns having with her, while she says she was handcuffed, was consensual. She vehemently denies this. Read more from Buzzfeed here. And let’s follow her case. If she can hold fast and persist despite the pressure, legal bullying and they-said-she-said applying unimaginable pressure on this teenage girl, she can change our world.

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Whether you are fighting City Hall, literally as we’ve just read, or figuratively in some other way, even if you’re trying to swim against the current in your relationship, your job or your community, you need love. So a meditation to help you feel that love for yourself is a must. Lion’s Roar offers you just the thing with some fine meditation instructions.

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Sarah Blondin, Live Awake

Speaking of meditation, I am totally enthralled with the guided meditations of writer Sarah Blondin. Her Live Awake podcasts are available online on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Insight Timer, among other places. Since we are all about consent and permission in this post, let me share with you her lovely voice asking to give you permission to allow yourself all good things.

And since permission and consent involve giving, the late and much missed Kate Wolf with her hauntingly beautiful voice sings us out.

 

Namasté

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Your Weekly Diversion, Week 52

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Week 52 has arrived and I’m pretty late in getting to it. I’m not sure why my blogging year is up before January 20th, but so it is! It’s been a busy week for us, nothing worth noting here, but plenty nevertheless. The news continues to create stress and distress, especially the devastating mudslides in Southern California. It’s heartbreaking to see the damage and even worse to learn about the deaths of people and countless pets. Sometimes it feels as if Mother Nature is trying to shake us loose with earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, fires and floods.

 

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Hillary Brooke (1914-1999) (photo from Wikipedia)

My first diversion this week is a tribute to a woman I knew in childhood, actress Hillary Brooke. She was an actress, first noticed in “New Faces of 1937” and she appeared in Abbott and Costello sketches and even had a role in the ‘70s TV show “Soap” and My Little Margie” decades before that. Her name was Hillary Brooke. I met her as a friend of my godmother, a lovely Englishwoman who worked as a diction coach in the film industry and taught Hillary her distinctive, plummy British accent. She was born in Astoria, Queens, after all! Hillary gave me my set of Mary Poppins books, and took me hitchhiking when I was about 12 years old during a stay at my godmother’s mountain cabin, after walking back from the little town center tired us out. She had a dog, a black Scottie named Barney. Hillary was the most glamorous, fascinating woman I’d met at that time. Growing up in Southern California, I met quite a few people in the entertainment industry, most friends and clients of my father. Hillary was the first, and I remember her with love.

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Photo by Peter Landers, Wall Street Journal

Okay, next I have a weird diversion for you. In Japan an unusual version of Coca Cola is grabbing attention. Called Coca Cola Plus, it contains a high fiber, laxative additive that fans believe allows them to eat unhealthy food and not digest the fat, thereby leading some to dub it “weight loss cola” as opposed to regular or “fat” cola. If you have trouble accessing the WSJ article here, since they have a paywall, TimeOut Beijing has the goods. And the text in the second link is funnier!

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Now, remember Superstorm Sandy? So does the City of New York, and the City as an investment entity recognizes climate change as the result of fossil fuels raising the planet’s temperature. Therefore, the City is severing ties with their fossil fuel investments. This divestiture could be a huge deal in global economics and spur positive change.

And there’s no one like Bob Dylan to remind us that A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall.

Cheers, all, and…

Namasté

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Our Dozers of Love

This blog post from our own David Nelson speaks eloquently what my own heart has been saying. He reminds us that the “eternal law of impermanence” means that this too shall pass. And so shall we. If we don’t stand up for what is right and stand against what is wrong, who will? If not now, when? Many make resolutions at this time of year. Others simply vow to live their values more fully. Whatever we call it, let us make the most of this life, however much of it each of us may have left, because that we cannot know.

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mighty dozer of love ~d nelson

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

dozer vs mountain ~d nelson

If it was left up to me, and you,
everyone would have an equal opportunity
to live a simple…

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Your Weekly Diversion, Week 43

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On Week 43, I’m departing from my usual self-imposed prohibition of disseminating  specific political information. The week has been filled with newsy highs and lows, the lowest lows being when supporters of an accused pedophile cite the Bible to justify this skeevy, illegal and unethical behavior, and many use that, “If these allegations are true…” meme which discounts the words of the accuser. Blame the victim. Hadn’t we gotten better than this? I guess not. And the accused is blatantly trying to raise money off the story!

But then there’s another low that rips into the surface of decency and scars all who consume and buy into it: Minutes after the horrific mass shooting in Sutherland Springs, Texas, Russian bots apparently promulgated the falsehood that the shooter was a member of the anti-fascist group “Antifa” on social media, and it was spread for hours before being taken down.

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And now for our diversions. First, to cleanse the palate of the foregoing paragraphs, here are some words to live by.

 

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Another diversion that may have relevance in your life: It’s Open Enrollment season in the US for health insurance. This is the time individuals and families can shop for health insurance plans and switch to plans better than what they have now, or sign up for the first time. This includes Medicare recipients as well as those shopping for commercial plans. Several people I know have reported to me that, despite the dire predictions, they’ve gotten plans that are saving them money and still provide good coverage. Medicare recipients can elect to switch to Medicare Advantage plans that may save them money but vary greatly from state to state. It’s supposed to take a lot of the stress and cost out of medical costs not paid by Medicare, which includes the 20% and can include deductibles for a variety services and treatments. But the plans often dictate which healthcare providers their insureds can use, called “in network” providers and charge them more if they go out of network. As a psychologist I have had to turn down clients with some Medicare Advantage plans, while being paid by others. So listen and learn and ask around. Make some calls, go online and see what’s what. For all Medicare options, seniors and those on Social Security Disability can visit Medicare.gov, and most people under 65 should go to HealthCare.gov.

All is well with us, getting settled in our winter snowbird nest! Friends are visiting today and we look forward to showing them around. First stop will be Pinchers at Tin City, then a stroll down the ritzy 5th Avenue that leads right down to the beach. And then, who knows?

Yesterday we were eating lunch at our local Tropical Smoothie Café, and as usual they had great tunes playing. So I usually open my SoundHound app to see what we’re hearing. I have always loved this Duke Ellington song, “It Don’t Mean a Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing” and Gabin does it up brown, as my dad would say. I hadn’t heard this version before, and I love it! Enjoy!

 

Namasté

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Your Weekly Diversion, Week 42

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It’s Week 42 and between current events, the change to daylight standard time, aches and pains from a challenging gym workout, technical difficulties in the house and other distractions, I almost forgot to publish a post this week.

Okay, diversions coming right up. Have you I noticed that the latest slim cable boxes no longer feature digital clocks? Sure, we wear watches and have our phones and tablets nearby, but still. So we decided to look for a reasonably priced, analog, table top clock. They aren’t so easy to find! Nothing except wall clocks and digital clocks at the local Bed, Bath and Beyond. Only a few we didn’t like at our TJ Maxx. Decorator outlets and fine jewelry stores have lovely ones at more than we wanted to spend. So we checked on Amazon and found some good ones.

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Here’s one we liked enough to buy

 

I checked through the ideas I save on Google Keep for future posts and thought this piece on the herb turmeric might be interesting to my readers.

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There have been so many wild health claims made about turmeric that I was pleased to see that Memorial Sloan Kettering covers it here.  Turmeric is a rhizome, similar in appearance before slicing to ginger root. I use it in soups and stews and egg dishes and believe it adds healthful benefits. It’s nice to know that it can, provided cautions are observed.

I just love Sam Smith, and his new 2017 album is great. Here’s him doing “Pray”, one of the numbers he performed a few weeks back on SNL. Did you notice how slim he is? He lost over 50 pounds dropping dairy, gluten and sugar and doing much of his own meal prep. Enjoy his delicious voice!

Namasté

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Your Weekly Diversion, Week 33

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Image from the Medicine Owl

The Medicine Owl website tells us that in astrology the number 33 is a Master Number, the “teacher of teachers”:

33 is the number of ‘teacher of teachers’. It is a number that calls for service to humanity. It is a highly dedicated vibration, and people who carry this master number in their charts, have chosen a life of service to others. This means some sacrificing of personal goals and ideals for the greater good of man is required. When the number 33 individuals fully accept and step into their mission, they can overwrite other challenging aspects of their birth chart. That is the power of this number.

At this particular time in our human history, this time in which you and I and all around us are aware of such suffering from Hurricane Harvey and flooding in Houston, Texas, Louisiana and the whole region, service to humanity is certainly called for! I urge each of those who read this blog post today to do what you can for the cause, and I suspect you already have.

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You can donate to the Salvation Army here

We discussed how we would contribute, and we ended up donating to the Salvation Army, for long held family gratitude. Back in the day, my mother-in-law, may she Rest In Peace, got a job with the telephone company in New York, and when it was learned that she was Jewish, she was fired. This was devastating to her and the family on so many levels. After this awful event, she was hired by the Salvation Army, and we have a photo in the attic of her in full Army regalia ringing a bell on a street corner. We hold them in highest esteem because of this loving inclusiveness.

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Today’s diversions are first of the green variety. Household cleaning agents are often toxic, noxious or just plain lousy for us to smell and use. Today the Vitamin Shoppe sent an email giving some cleaning solutions we can make from nontoxic household items most of us already have. Then I looked up my favorite line of commercially available cleaning products on the Environmental Working Group. I learned they are mostly okay. Check out yours.

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One thing I learned there is that Dr Bronner’s Castile Soap is totally safe. It can be used for just about every cleaning task you have, personal, household and even animal. I intend to try it in a load of laundry this weekend, and follow their directions to add a cup of white vinegar (I’ve had a gallon from the dollar store forever) to the rinse cycle to soften the clothes. Here’s their page of cleaning solutions.

For your listening enjoyment, here is Sisana singing “Africa” and here is a link to a recent BBC feature about the young South African musician who once was homeless and destitute. It all fits together today, doesn’t it?

 

Namasté

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Your Weekly Diversion, Week 32

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Another week has passed since I began this weekly blog, 32 weeks in all so far. What do we know? Plenty, and you can learn all about it on your Apple News feed, Flipboard, Twitter, Facebook, television news, local or national newspaper (paper or digital) or whatever reliable source you prefer. Even late night talk shows often give important information. Please support real journalism, the kind that is well-researched, fact-based, honest, and a crucial pillar of our Democracy. Too many are getting all their news from non-journalistic sources such as extremist websites and blogs. We all deserve to exercise our rights to knowledge and truth.

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“Anger” from Pixar’s “Inside Out”

What do we do when we are forcefully misunderstood, misheard, misattributed, falsely accused, or otherwise blasted with anger by another? A knee-jerk reflex is to hit back in like anger. Oh, yeah? Did not! You’re wrong! What’s the matter with you? So how do we avoid the knee-jerk response? First, consider the context of the comment. Despite our first defensive reaction, we may find a grain or more of truth in what is being hurled at us so angrily. Have we offended the other person? If so, do we need to make amends? It may help to re-explain our position, decision, or perhaps even reshape our plans. Even if the accusations are totally baseless, blasting back angrily solves nothing and only pours more fuel on the bonfire.

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Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher who is believed to have predated both Confucius and the Buddha, offers us four simple rules of personal conduct that can soften the hardest heart if the willingness exists:

  • Reverence for all Life
  • Gentleness
  • Natural Sincerity
  • Supportiveness

Try them, they really work!

The beautiful glass sculptures above are the creations of Artful Ashes, a company taking a tablespoon or so of a loved one’s ashes (human or animal) and incorporating them into small works of art. I stumbled on this on Pinterest and was surprised at how lovely they are. The white swirl is created by the ashes, and on the website they explain how carefully they track your sample to make sure the one you get contains the ashes you sent in.

I’ve been waiting for just the right week to end my post with this poignant tune by Paul McCartney. I bought the album “Memory Almost Full” years ago but had forgotten this song until I heard it recently when the Phillies honored the members of the team who have passed since their last Alumni Day. It really touched me.

Namasté

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